Evaluating my past...to figure out my present

My best-friend, as in my wife-to-be has implored me to "stay away from people, places adn things that are harmful to you. You have to employ that strategy EVERY single DAY of your life. Otherwise, you will drag me down with you, and take your family right along as well". I wish I could have heard words like those from my father; I really believe that was his duty, his responsibility to educate (as in life-lessons) and protect me. However, I am grateful for the presence of the woman that shared this insight with me. The spirit in this woman is from out of this world and sometimes I feel unworthy of such loyalty and love.

So I am loooking for people to dialogue and correspond with and I welcome all who are willing. I have done little traveling, but with a little imagination, I can travel anywhere with anyone, and if you would like to share your journeys, whether they are navigating the ups and downs of life, or relating your travels across your state, country or world. You know, there are billions of us on earth, and each one of us has some type of talent, gift or story to share.

Besides, the older I get the more I like people. I need help though, because I am very good at making a mess out of my life. I am also guilty of that "three steps forward, two steps back" syndrome. And a lot of times, I can't even claim a net gain of even one step. And when I am in this state of mind, I feel like I should force my wife to be AWAY and when I begin thinking that way, I think about all of the things that "I didn't do for her" and that someone else could do a much better job of caring for her. I have had numerous partners, each unique, but Julie is so perfect that I can't build up the nerve to push her away, because I love her.

And she knows that my life is complex because I make it that way, and also because I was born into a complex situation. I am a product of the circumstances surrounding my conception. And all of the women I have been involved with over the years, know that, and that is the very shaky ground upon which we try to build a future.