Technicalities

K, there are many reasons I hate being in prison and one of the worst reasons is giving up control of all my in-going and out-going communications. Recently, I received a notice that I must pay $2.99 to return one of my wife's letters becasue it smelled of perfume. This system is a complete joke. This is ridiculous; however, I did this to myself because I requested that she spritz her letters with her cologne.

I hate not getting my mail; this is my RIGHT. Unfortunately, it is their right to restrict what I can and cannot receive. So I went almost 2 weeks without receiving mail from my wife. Luckily, I got mail from both my mom and my baby sister that week, so that really saved me from totally losing it. Thanks Mom and Rissa!


God Bless!

Sibling Pile-up

My friend, Mr. Johnny Edwards, of the Augusta Chronicle contacted me again to pass along information of another sibling. He was kind enough to forward a picture of my new sister, Jeannette Michell from Miami, FL. I continue to be overwhelmed by all of this good news.

I am still writing my siblings and sharing my desire that we all heal together. I am also very appreciative of all my new friends' efforts to assist me with all matters related to my dad's family at what I consider a true turning-point in my life. Again I want to reassure my dad's side of the family that my motives are pure and I don't have ulterior motives. Family means a lot to me and what could be a more wondrous blessing than having my family continue to grow.

Drafted September 14th, 2007

Time

Where has the time gone? Mom has retired, my son is damn near grown, my sister is studying for her master's degree, my father is dead and to top it all off, I am almost 40 years of age. Everything sort of hit me all at once...where did my life go?

Drafted September 14th, 2007

Words

I reflect a lot about the impact of words on our lives. The bible states "Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit". Proverbs 18:21

Words are more than a mere process of communication; as they are uttered or written, they have the ability to manipulate consciousness and influence perception. And those that use communication in any form are conveying a message, and whether that message is positive or negative is the responsibility of the conveyor. And since I love rap, I think a lot about its impact and how it has evolved since its inception.

I love hip-hop and I very clearly remember the first rap song to hit the scene. It was Sugar Hill's "Rapper's Delight". Although some would argue that a very blonde, very white chick uttered the first rap lyrics with Blondie's release "Rapture", while others would argue that my father, James Brown, was the first rapper with his song "Payback". But I digress...

Rap and Hip-Hop as we know it originated in New York, but the face of rap has changed and instead of being fun and innocent, it is often misogynisitic, criminal and ultimately sends a message of self-destruction. Rap is an art and I appreciate it but since as I initially asserted words have power and I am seeing a lot of damage to young minds who indulge.

Priorities that are celebrated in rap are of questionable repute such as the accumulation of flashy apparel, flashy cars with totally tight rims, gangland agendas and substance abuse. In my current set of living conditions I am coming across a lot of young men of different ethnicities andn they all kind of resemble each other, as in they have the same type of gangsta type characteristics. I AM NOT LAMBASTING HIP-HOP because I am not the "Uncle Tom" type, however, I think an effort should be exerted to show the negative impact of rap on our community and it seems, the generations to come.

This is difficult to think about and state because I know Rap/Hip Hop is here to stay and it really started in the Black community and I love it, too. But I am torn. I have seen its effects on the minds of the generations to come. So please heed these words of someone who embraces rap, "Please proceed with caution".

Drafted September 9th, 2007

Bithday Boy

Well, September 7th, 2007, came and went here at DVI without fanfare. However, for me it was a big day because it was my birthday! I am 39!!! I have to keep saying that to myself over and over to believe it. What happened to all of those years? Why just yesterday I was 25. Needless to say, I don't look forward to birthdays like I used to. Maybe I will console myself by believing this may be just a mid-life crisis speaking. Because of my history and my beliefs, I am grateful for every hour, day, month and year, so yes, ultimately, I cherish everyday.

As of September 9th, I had received cards from Boo-Boo, Julie and Mom. My mom's card had the most impact on me. It was evident that she took serious time, thought and consideration selecting the perfect one, and it really lifted my spirits. Boo-Boo's cards always touch me, anything I receive from her is always special. Julie's card was special, too. She is my best friend, wife and mom all wrapped up into one lovely package. "Luv ya, Cookie."

So next year, I'll be free "God Willing" and I am looking forward to spending this upcoming Christmas with my dad's kids, my siblings, but all I can do now is hope that happens.

Thanks everyone for your birthday wishes!

God Bless!

Drafted September 9th, 2007

La Rhonda Petitt-Brown

Recently, just as all of you did, I learned about another new sibling. Her name is LaRhonda and we also share the same parentage, as in James Brown; he fathered us both. She lives in Houston and I wrote her and I expect she'll be surprised to hear from me. I am really clinging to everything positive and really embracing the idea that I am blessed, and on that note, I really expect to hear from her.

La Rhonda, I just wanted to let you know that I really identify with you. So far, members of my father's family have been reluctant to correspond with me directly. I have had to contact them through the attorneys and this really makes me sad. I finally sent them heartfelt letters imploring them to embrace me as their brother and a true member of the family. But so far, my pleas have gone unheard and that just breaks my heart.

I watched our father embrace and laugh with complete strangers but refused to acknowledge his own flesh and blood; I am truly perplexed as to why my brothers and sisters are continuing to perpetuate this so-called "tradition". We are all God's children and beyond that we share a genetic/biological bond and I am grateful for that. I am sorry that the legal issues appear to separate us. I hope that I have made it clear that my motives are pure and I want to connect with all of you and expand my family. I love that sense of family I have with my mother's side of the family and I want to know my father, too. But now the only way I can do that is through the relationships that I build with those of you that knew him best.

So to La Rhonda, and the rest of the Brown family I look forward to hearing from you. Like I said, I'll stay positive and beseech God that all of you see your way clear to truly embrace me.

Drafted September 4, 2007

Stressed out

Well, as usual, I have been stressing about a host of different issues. I've been railing on my fiancee, Julie, because of some of the things that she has recently done. I have my addiction issues and she has hers. She likes to spend money, and I am stressing because she came into some money, and in my opinion, she spent it frivolously. I was hoping I could count on a bit of a nest egg when I returned home, but not from this particular blessing; but believe me, I am hoping for something more. However, she did remind me that I liked to spend her money just as quickly, and unlike her, I would have nothing to show for it, if you know what I mean. However we are working together on this issue and trying to determine how to best manage our money when I am back. She's a great at creating budgets, we just aren't great at adhering to them. Please pray for us both and if you can spare us some of your goodwill, we'd appreciate it as well.

Thanks!!!

God Bless!

Drafted August 23, 2007

Edited and posted by Julie

Mass Appeal

I have a question to pose to each of you reading this: Do you think it is wrong for me to be ignored by people that I have written, forwarded my photo and implored for love? I ask, does it take much energy to pick-up a postcard and state "Received your letter and photo. We'll see ya soon. Take care."? Why do some people challenge me like this right now? I am at my most vulnerable and I feel like I am experiencing hate and abandonment. And I am frustrated because these people I speak of are full of compassion for complete strangers, and yet, ignore family. Will someone just reassure me that I am not wrong to be frustrated and hurt by this treatment?

Drafted August 24, 2007

Angel Girl

Angel Girl, Mia, where are you my Angelita? I am so worried about you. I haven't from you in weeks now and I am just wondering if I did something wrong. You have my address, e-mail and Julie's e-mail. Julie will forward a message and you can you let her know what is going on? I really miss hearing from you. God Bless!

Drafted August 27, 2007