Ego-Centric

I have always asserted that my reality as Michael Brown is that I received a lot of attention, deserved or not, simply because I am son of the "Godfather of Soul", James Brown. That being said, I have to admit that I crave attention and I have for most of my life. From the time I can remember, I had notoriety for simply being his son and only living in the shadow of his achievements. And that created a dilemma for me because within that dynamic there is tension between being denied attention from my biological father, and the love I craved immensely as any son would, and the attention the rest of the world bestowed upon me. And I truly believe my desire for attention is about my father and not about me.

A Buddhist brother of mine, who recently paroled stated this to me in no uncertain terms: "I do not want you to see me, I am trying to see you and learn. I am a student of life, for life." He was older than me and seemingly more balanced and very precise with his use of language. And typically he was not prone to platitudes or merely enjoying the sound of his own voice, as so many in here are. When I questioned him about the source of his peace, he began to address the issues of the ego and my sad realization is that as he described this propensity, he was describing me. Can any of you relate?