Addiction

For those of you that know about addiction, you know it is an ugly cycle that drains the life out of the addict and addict's loved ones. Unfortunately, I became an addict at a young age. I blame it on the lack of love extended to me by my father; this significantly damaged my self-esteem. This produced great anxiety and pain and soon I sought escape from my feelings of hurt and rage. And at a relatively young age, I turned to alcohol and other drugs to squelch my misery. I thought this was cool; however my ability to manage my life had been compromised at that young age due to drug abuse. As an adult, I had no idea how to manage my feelings, my responsibilities, or even my own life. I never cultivated the skills to be responsible for myself and my choices and how I treat those around me.

Drugs became my god and of course that added to my shame and guilt. Even now, thinking about it makes me sick and I know that it will take years of therapy,groups and meetings to recover from my life of chaos characterized by drugs, sex and drama addiction.