God

I believe that I, like so many others in this world, I have been blessed with God's favor and mercy. And his mercy endures forever. So, I landed back here because I violated Penal Code 69, where I resisted executive officers with force and violence. When I returned to CDCR's custody, I was defeated and depressed. I had secretly planned to end my own life once I was sentenced. I expected to get 9 - 16 years and I would be sent off to the "shu" security section of DVI. My housing locations dictates that I do not receive contact visits or phone calls. And when I am privileged to leave my area and go outside, I go into a cage that rivals a dog kennel. So I wasn't going to endure those restrictions and I wasn't going to sit around and see my loved ones die off one-by-one.

At first, it looked hopeless and I even refused to pray after I arrived here. My family and my parole officer, Agent Wilkinson, urged me to do so. I couldn't in light of what I was facing. Plus, Julie was alone again and distraught and this was all too much to bear.

Then a miracle happened: I was offered "low-term" and no "strikes". How could this be? I will still get home this year. Then I saw that God didn't give up on me, but rather, loved me in spite of me. Then it dawned on me: I cannot give up. How dare I give up when God hasn't given up on me!

Years ago, I used to hear "with the vision comes provision"; I have allowed myself to see my as God sees me and believes in me. Now, I believe I can be a responsible, mature, dependable man who also possesses the gift of empathy. God has shown me so much about me, however, I still get distracted. Christ is my Savior and example and my ultimate goal is to think like and see the world as He sees it.

God will supply all of my needs, He will bless us both Julie and me and I will express my gratitude forever through my actions as well as "RHEMA", which means spoken word. The only reason I am alive and have hope is because God is my father and friend and ALL of you are a part of His blessing me and I am so very grateful.