Am I really "An Angry Black Man"?

I have been incarcerated a lot over the 38 years of my life. I think my anger has manifested itself in my violent behavior and in part, in my addictions as well. Doing time doesn't address any the issues that I just listed, especially here in California. And in large part that is due to overcrowded prisons, and also the logistics of inmate placement. So then the very violent criminals and those not fit for society are all housed together with people who are in jail for minor infractions and violations. It is a very volatile and counterproductive mix. Gee, and guess what? I would guess from my experience that there a lot of addicts as well, who aren't getting and kind of treatment. This dynamic spells disaster. Unfortunately, I have had more opportunities than I wanted to witness this situation, and it seems to be getting worse. I keep asking: "whatever happened to the idea of rehabilitation?"

And generally as a demographic, those of that are fit and will return to society, are not taught how to transistion successfully and become productive members of society. We aren't given adequate resources to remove ourselves from the people and places that may helped to contribute to our criminal behavior or addiction. For instance, a drug addict that is sent right back to the same living arrangements, toxic "associates" or neighborhood will, more than likely, revert to old behavior.

Everyone's demons are their own; however, one thing that addicts are told over and over again all through recovery: find healthy friends and don't go to those places where you will put your sobriety in jeopardy. That being said, the adage is that "you take you" wherever you go, and you can't escape yourself. However, if your path is rocky, staying away from those around you that will tempt you is the best strategy. But without resources and support for making the necessary changes, most often some of us become 'boomerangs". Out and right back in again. And some like me, in this particular instance, were just "visitors" to the outside. I was only out 24 days before I returned to jail for a parole violation.

This time I am trying different solutions, different strategies, to both manage the ordeal of prison life, and hopefully, utilize the structue and solititude to write and heal. What I was reflecting on when I sat down to write this, was how my paternal family has always treated me. I am tired of the blatant disregard and disdain my familly has shown me. So the time is now...To Set the Record Straight.