Emotional availability

Someone who watched the recent bio-pick of father on CNN observed this: That based on interviews with brothers and sisters, my father didn't appear to be emotionally available to anyone. This person questioned whether my father liked himself or if he was capable of truly loving anyone.

Well, I know they were also speaking about me indirectly. I've been questioned in the past along these lines and I have also questioned myself in this same vein. And this is my response: I'm not consumed with figuring out why my dad dogged me or if he loved himself. And to answer the allegation of my tendency not to be emotionally available, I blame my lack of trust in people. Why should I open up only to be spit upon. The last time I opened up to a friend, I expressed my feelings about her and how to dispose of her remains and her worldly possessions in the event of an untimely demise. And all she did, metaphorically speaking, was spit in my face. But maybe she didn't really see my emotional vulnerability at that moment. I feel like I was more open in my youth and adolescence and all I did was experience a lot of pain. So I am not going to lay myself out to be walked all over emotionally. I've been around long enough to know better. Some may say that is a sad way to live, but this is my response: "That's your opinion".