It's Not Easy

Being the God-son hasn’t been easy. I have “God – Son” tattooed on the underside of my forearm. I have lived a broken and tattered life. My friend asked if I was surrounded by love growing up? Did I focus on what I had or what I didn’t have? I hate to admit it, but I have mainly focused on what was absent over the course of my life.

I know of 8 paternal siblings that are alive and are not corresponding with me. Deanna why do you ignore me? And I ask the same question of Venisha and Yamma. Brother Larry, Man, why do you ignore me? Again, Daryl and Terry, why do each of you ignore me? What have I done to you? I do not know if it as simple as hating me, or if it is something that runs deeper. I would really like to know and understand why things have played out between us as they have so far. It is never too late to change things.

I didn’t do anything to Dad and to this day, I do not understand why he subjected me to what he did. I was born, and he was my father, and he failed over and over to acknowledge my very existence, let alone, embrace and interact with me.

How do you think I felt when I would see things like all of you hugging each other on the stage of the Appollo for everyone to see? Did anyone ever consider how that made me feel? Walk 1 (one) day in my shoes as the bastard child of James Brown, the convicted felon, who suffers daily because of what was flaunted and denied me as a recognized member of the James Brown family. I still suffer to this day and I will until each and everyone of you acknowledge me Michael Brown or Bakari Moja, your brother, James Brown’s son.